During my sophomore year of high school, I decided I needed to lose five to ten pounds. Dieting was the only solution, or so I thought. I was an athlete, so I felt the only other thing I needed to do was go on a diet. Now that is an interesting phrase, because if you go on a diet, you imply you will eventually go off.
I mentioned to my dad that I was going on a diet, and he said it was a bad idea. First, he didn’t think I was fat. Secondly, he thought if I wanted to lose a few pounds I should just “cut back a little.” I looked at him as if he had three heads. “Dad, are you serious?!” I asked. I continued to educate him. “Everyone knows that doesn’t work.” I shook my head in disbelief, wondering how he could be so naive on such an important subject. He certainly needed to spend more time reading Seventeen Magazine!
Mark Twain once said, “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he’d learned in seven years.” I could certainly relate to Twain’s comment once I realized years later that my first diet had launched me onto the escalator of the Ferocious Foursome. I don’t remember what kind of a diet I went on, but I do remember the intense cravings caused by the dieting. So I went from the first floor of the Ferocious Foursome, dieting, to the second floor of the Ferocious Foursome, which is binging.
The cravings started a millisecond after I decided to diet. I hadn’t even began the official “diet” when the mammoth cravings began. I decided mid-week to start the following Monday. You know exactly what I’m talking about, don’t you? Apparently there is an unofficial eleventh commandment, “Thou shalt start dieting on Monday.” Simply telling myself that I would begin dieting started to unleash craving monster within. Thinking I would never eat yummy foods again led to an all-out binge, which I had rarely (if ever) experienced before deciding to begin my first diet.
Even when I wasn’t bingeing, I began to eat more than my normal quantities of food. First of all, I had no rules about eating before my diet started. I ate what I wanted when I wanted, and since I loved to exercise, I’d never been overweight more than a few pounds. But once I drowned myself in teen magazines promoting lookism, I began to think of myself as flawed because I was born with a muscular body type and loved sports. It was clear that I was never meant to look like a catwalk model. God had created me to be athletic and curvy. Once I opened the golden door of Dieting, I realized it was actually made of plywood and covered with gold foil. It led to another door called Bingeing, which led back to the golden tin foil door of Dieting. Inside the drab room of nothingness called Dieting, I saw the Ferocious Foursome of Dieting, Bingeing, Overexercising, and Purging. It was enough to make me dizzy. Where would I turn next?