The Game of Body Shame

  

Game of Body Shame:

Start with your game piece- shaped appropriately like a pair of jeans. All players start at square one – the square of shame.

1. Shame: You feel discouraged because you don’t match the photo-shopped, false concept of beauty promoted in our culture. Roll the dice and move to the next step.

2. Diet: If you’ve landed on this square, it’s probably Monday. 🙂 Wait out your turn because you’re at the mall with a friend. Suck in your stomach, as you’re trying to pour yourself into the size of jeans you’ve always dreamed of wearing. You figured that jean size was the magic ticket to the perfect life. Roll the dice and move to the next step.

3. Fail at your diet: Of course you did, because you set yourself up for failure by going “on” a diet. Reference Paul’s statement in Romans 7:15-16: “My own behavior baffles me. For I find myself doing what I really hate, and not doing what I really want to do.” (Living Bible). Roll the dice and go to the mall. Oops, it finally happened – you busted the rearend seam of your “magic size” jeans. Roll the dice and open your bottom drawer to pull out your old jeans.

4. Binge, eating everything except the TV. Roll the dice, and look at fashion or celebrity magazines while you wait in the dentist’s waiting room. Roll the dice, and if they add up to an even number, you stumble into a trap called bulimia.

5. Promise to start a diet again next Monday.

6. Continue until you decide to stop the cycle.

But there is hope! Overeaters Anonymous

  

Body Image and the Fearless Foursome: Dieting and Bingeing

Dieting has become a rite of passage for teen girls.  I challenge you to find a teenaged girl who hasn’t tried dieting.  Sometimes the dieters lose weight, and other times they don’t.  Either way, they often hurl themselves onto a path of life-long roller-coaster dieting.  Whether the first attempt ends in success or failure, it likely gives them a taste where they long for more.  If they lose weight, they become believers, and if not, they profess to try again and again until they get it “right”.

Just when they begin to feel sure-footed from the triumph of dieting, the ground shifts beneath them, bumping them onto the merry-go-round of self-contempt.   They feel completely deprived, and begin to crave what they’ve started to call bad foods.  This turns them into eating machines.  The hunger wells up within them like a hurricane ready to ravage everything in its path.  They crave  fatty foods and sweet foods and salty foods.  Hunger consumes them.  Food, food, food, is on their minds a great majority of their waking hours and sometimes in their dreams as well.  They’ve opened the floodgates of eternal hunger and will never be the same.  They crave foods they love, as well as foods that they did not used to like before they felt deprived from dieting.

They now feel insatiably starved, which leads to the first all-out binge.  The binge fools their hearts into happiness, but only briefly.  This leads to a free-fall into the shaft of despair and depression, with waves of guilt and shame knocking them into the heart of hopelessness.  Around and around they spin on the merry-go-round of self-contempt, dizzy and depressed from a level of hopelessness they never knew possible.

Research shows the majority of people who lose weight by dieting usually gain it all back, plus more.  So what’s the answer?  Stay tuned for more.

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Body Image: Dieting, Bingeing, and Self-Contempt

 Food to Eat to Lose Weight

Dieting has become a rite of passage for teen girls.  I challenge you to find a teenaged girl who hasn’t tried dieting.  Sometimes the dieters lose weight, and other times they don’t. 

Either way, they often hurl themselves onto a path of life-long roller-coaster dieting.  Whether the first attempt ends in success or failure, it likely gives them a taste where they long for more.  If they lose weight, they become believers, and if not, they profess to try again and again until they get it “right”.

Just when they begin to feel sure-footed from the triumph of dieting, the ground shifts beneath them, bumping them onto the merry-go-round of self-contempt.

They feel completely deprived, and begin to crave what they’ve started to call bad foods.  This turns them into eating machines.  The hunger wells up within them like a hurricane ready to ravage everything in its path.  They crave  fatty foods and sweet foods and salty foods.

Hunger consumes them.  Food, food, food, is on their minds a great majority of their waking hours and sometimes in their dreams as well.  They’ve opened the floodgates of eternal hunger and will never be the same.

They crave foods they love, as well as foods that they did not used to like before they felt deprived from dieting.

They now feel insatiably starved, which leads to the first all-out binge.  The binge fools their hearts into happiness, but only briefly.  This leads to a free-fall into the shaft of despair and depression, with waves of guilt and shame knocking them into the heart of hopelessness.

Around and around they spin on the merry-go-round of self-contempt, dizzy and depressed from a level of hopelessness they never knew possible.

Research shows the majority of people who lose weight by dieting usually gain it all back, plus more.  So what’s the answer?  Stay tuned for more.

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Body Image and The Biggest Loser: Meet a Two Decade Loser!

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“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times,” Mark Twain said. And I know this applies to weight loss. How many people have lost pounds upon pounds of weight only to gain it all back again? Usually they gain back even more. Many of them are career dieters who continue dieting again and again, always expecting different results. But research shows that almost never happens.

Most “dieters” are not dealing with the underlying current. That is, the reasons they became addicted to food in the first place. Most weight loss programs are focused only on the symptoms, and so they will not work over the long haul. So show me something different. Rather, show me someone different – someone who has lost the weight and kept it off for almost two decades. Show me Michael Prager, author of Fat Boy, Thin Man. Prager describes his food addiction, his love affair with food, and his profound and real recovery for almost twenty years.

Now that is certainly a story worth reading – almost twenty years of success. That is worthy of sharing because it gives true hope rather than false hope. That is certainly a future filled not with malt balls and cookie dough and a mountain of chips, but of pure, real, true 100% hope. That is a beautiful, glorious story and one to shout about from the top of the Space Needle to the Statue of Liberty.

I am in the process of reading Michael’s book, and am looking forward to crossing the life-changing finish line. If you or anyone you know struggles with obesity or emotional eating, Michael’s book is certainly worth a million times its weight in gold. So turn off “The Biggest Loser”, kick up your feet and delight yourself in a true story of success in the arena of long-term weight loss. Although I am not finished with the book yet, I know it will help anyone who struggles with binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and/or food addiction. Check out Michael’s book and blog at http://www.fatboythinman.com. It click could be the click that changed your life.

The Ferocious Foursome?Bingeing, Dieting, Purging, and Overexercising

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Women in developed nations tend to be brutally hard on themselves in regards to body image issues.  They battle a gnawing desire to be thin.   If you notice how often you hear women talking about food, fat, working out, sizes, diets, calories, and their bodies, you will begin to understand how deeply entrenched this desire to be thin is.  Make a note of each time you hear a woman talk about wanting to lose weight, or her size, or her dissatisfaction with her body.  You may not be able to get through a week – let alone a day or two – without hearing one talk of topics about food, fat, or fannies (especially in regards to how certain foods are “bad”).

This hyper-focus on thinness causes women to develop monumental amounts of shame and self-contempt for their bodies.  Usually this self-contempt starts when they experience some type of traumatic experience, such as the divorce of their parents, a breakup with a boyfriend, or moving.  This causes them to leap into the arms of their drug of choice for comfort.  Often, this is food.  This means that many children, teens, and adults go to food as their drug of choice.    This results in weight gain, which leads them to dislike their bodies at a deeper level since thin bodies are idolized in developed nations.

Many women (and more and more men) are addicted to beating themselves up with the message that they don’t measure up.  Some people are told this as children, whether it’s about school work, lack of athletic ability, looks, or other aspects of their lives.  Then it spills over to the point that if nobody expresses disdain, the thoughts and comments continue in her head.  This happens because she is so comfortable with the shame that she feels naked without it.

This shame and self-contempt leads girls and women into the contemptuous cycle I call the Ferocious Foursome.  The Ferocious Foursome includes the monsters of dieting, binging, purging, and excessive exercising.  The cycle generally starts with dieting, but can begin with any of the Ferocious Foursome.

Typically, the girl feels fat, even though she may be within the normal weight or body composition limits.  This is important because many of the girls do not actually qualify as overweight to begin with.  They have been brainwashed by the media into thinking that thinness is their ticket to a perfect life.  So they begin scrutinizing their bodies and find excess fat, or what they think is excess fat.  By the age of four or five, most girls already feel that any fat is bad.  Sadly, the media fails to mention that a certain percentage of fat is normal and will enable them to have babies much later, as well as nurse their children and carry them on their hips.  Without fat, all those activities would be impossible.  Another fact the media fails to mention is that breast tissue naturally contains a large percentage of fat.  Sometimes women express a desire to wear a tiny size and have relatively large breasts at the same time.  I explain to them that does not usually happen naturally because the breast tissue contains a great deal of fat.

The end result of the brainwashing – as well as photoshopping and airbrushing – of the media is that little girls end up feeling that all fat is bad, whether it is on their bodies or in food.  Many girls and young women fear getting fat more than almost anything else, including terrorism.  So of course they naturally fall prey to the first phase of the Ferocious Foursome, which is dieting.

Dieting has become a rite of passage for teen girls.  I challenge you to find a teenaged girl who has not tried to diet or lose weight.  It will be a difficult task, as few girls in our society have not tried to diet.  Sometimes they are successful, and other times they are not.  Either way, they tend to hurl themselves onto a path of life-long roller-coaster dieting.  Whether the first attempt ends in success or failure, it likely gives them a taste where they long for more.  If they lose weight, they become believers, and if not, they profess to try again and again until they get it “right”.

Just when they begin to feel sure-footed from the triumph of dieting, the ground shifts beneath them, bumping them onto the merry-go-round of self-contempt.   They feel completely deprived, and begin to crave what they have started to call bad foods.  This turns them into eating machines.  The hunger wells up within them like a hurricane ready to ravage everything in its path.  Suddenly they want tons of fatty foods and sweet foods and salty foods.  They cannot get enough and feel as though they must eat everything because hunger consumes them.  Food, food, food, is on their minds a great majority of their waking hours and sometimes in their dreams as well.  They have opened the floodgates of eternal hunger and will never be the same.  They crave foods that they love, as well as foods that they did not used to like before they felt deprived from dieting.

They now feel insatiably starved, which leads to the first all-out binge.  The binge fools their hearts into happiness, but only briefly.  This leads to a free-fall into the shaft of despair and depression, with waves of guilt and shame knocking them into the heart of hopelessness.  Around and around they spin on the merry-go-round of self-contempt, dizzy and depressed from a level of hopelessness they never knew possible.

Next:  Purging and Over-exercising, the other two stars of the Ferocious Foursome.

Body Image: Stop the Negative Thinking (and heal your body image)

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You’re waiting in line at the grocery store, and can’t help but checking out the fannies of the gals in front of you.  You’re in the “12 items or less” line, but the guy at the front of the line seems to have 350 items.  Man, is his gut big, you think.  He really doesn’t need those chocolate covered raisins.  Oh, and look at the next girl.  She is skinny.  Probably a size 4.  But even so, she looks kind of disproportionate.  Oh, I wonder what the people behind me are thinking about my tooshie?

You can’t help it.  Since you live in a culture in which you were exposed to 250,000 ads by the time you were seventeen, you have been brainwashed.  This sick tsunami of messages that scream, “To be thin is to be beautiful, and beauty is almost everything,” has brainwashed you and caused you to be hypercritical of your own body as well as other peoples’ bodies.

All of this negativity and comparison puts you back into the sick merry-go-round of dieting, bingeing, purging (for some) and over-exercising (for some).  What would it look like to stop the sick cycle and get off the merry-go-round forever?  The first step is to stop the poisonous habit of comparing your body to other peoples’ bodies.

But how can you do this?  It has become such an ingrained habit, it is almost as natural as breathing.  The first step is to recognize that it is doing a great deal of harm.  Women who put up pictures of thin celebrities and/or models often binge after looking at them because they feel like a failure in comparison.  The same thing happens when you compare yourself with anyone else’s body.

The next step is to picture a big red stop sign, and to picture screaming, “STOP!” whenever you catch yourself comparing your body to someone else’s.  Keep doing this over and over again.  You may even want to think of something else, such as a peaceful place like a beach.  Or else you might say a prayer to ask God to help you with your body image, or even recite a verse.

Although this won’t be easy, you will begin to notice a change from this “stinkin’ thinkin’ ” pattern.  You will notice that your eyes avert from looking so intently and judging your own and other peoples’ bodies.  Instead of feeling depressed and like your body is not good enough, you will begin to feel the truth:  You are a masterpiece – a unique and beautiful person, and you will begin to celebrate your uniqueness and see your true underlying beauty.